so this is my last day before i get out of civilization, before i go immersion. hah, i think i owe my blog an apology for not updating it for the past two weeks. so blog, im sorry. and im also sorry to my readers too. any my friends who i usually check out for their updates.

anyway, let;s get back to my life right now. today (Oct. 21, 2008) i am feeling strange, as if i dont know what to do. so tomorrow's the big day, im getting my IT exams tomorrow and we're straight to Mercedes for our Immersion seminar, just the basics. im excited to start learning bisaya since in Liloy (my predicted area) they all speak bisaya. im wondering if  they can talk tagalog a little :D

then RALPH (i always type his name in all caps) told me and confirmed that Cristy is also here in Zamboanga. and i just wanted to even take a quick peek of what she's like now. and i hope tomorrow i can. if God allows me, no, let me say it in a better sentence: if i take the opportunity God gives. so i am worried if i will be able to see her tomorrow. and i do hope it will be a yes. oh, how much i just wwant to grab her and hug her. hah, i really hope i can do it, but even a smile and an exchange of greetings will do, i dont expect much.

so as i am now hours before the 2-weeks out of civilization mode, i am somehow morphed by destiny from being the ready-to-go Greggi into a doubtful Greggi again. im again doubtful in two things now, first is if i can make it in that 2 weeks, and second is if we are going to meet again. though i hope that destiny will favor me, i cannot really say that it will until it already happened.

so ima finish this post with the usual. the picture by the way is edited by me in photoshop cs2

3:00 PM Zamboanga, Philippines Time

*take your sweet time

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hah! i really like this day...

to start off with NSTP, we we spent the whole morning with the kids. i was a bit depressed when i realized that this may be our the last day to go and teach them something so i decided to give them a non-academic class today.

well, I wrote the words "Make someone HAPPY" on the chalkboard. and they we're shocked when i wrote the word "Assignment" above it. i told them that this is their life's assignment, and their deadline should be until they die. To make someone happy... then one kid asked me when they need to pass their assignment, and i told them that they shouldn't. then they asked me back if they wont pass their assignment, then how will i know that they already did it. then i answered back, that if ever i see changes, even a little bit in this city of Zamboanga, then i know that it is my students' work, my little friends' work.

then i introduced to them a somehow long word, it's "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", it is a lung disease we get from inhaling small particles of silica from a volcanic ash. well, i only introduced them this word not because this is long, but because i wanted them to get exposed to the real world, the real world isn't just about simple words such as the articles, and the three to five letter verbs. this world is about the unlimited use of these words...

now i was really feeling like a child when i decided to play with them, we played "lupa langit" which i cannot remember the rules anymore. hihi, so all in all im going to miss them, and that is why, i'll try to at least give them their plea, to bring them to ADZU main campus for our last time to bond here...

i feel like a kid. and i know my child in me is now eating a lollipop. oh by the way, have you ever ate a CD? i did XD

12:32 AM Zamboanga, Philippines Time

*take your sweet time

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picture from: http://josepaolo.deviantart.com/art/kid-33171849

so yesterday, we had this activity where we were asked to draw 6 symbols. the Happy face, sad face, star, circle, box and sun. i drew patrick star for my star. hehe

anyway, we were asked to give these symbols to people who we want it to share with. for example, the happy face is for a person we want to get closer but we're shy to come close to that person. then the sad face is for the person who we want to be sorry. the star is for a person we look up to, the circle is for the person we want to be with for the rest of our life. the box is for the person we envy, and the sun for the person that brightens our day.

so i dont want to explain one by one but what i wanted to explain here is why i gave Nieva a box. maybe nobody ever knows why i gave it to her... so the reason why i gave it to her is not because i envy something in her. it is because i envy how she lives a normal life, with normal friends, with normal actions, and a normal accent. just normal. nothing more, nothing less. just right. so why did i give it to her, i guess, i thought of giving it to her because i envy her simplicity. nothing more, nothing less. i envy that she lives life in our class transparently and at the same time, she manages to have a healthy social life. see what simple is?

anyway, i hope she reads it, and i dont want her to feel guilty or something. come on, im not someone who really gets crazily mad or something... hehe.

so i was watching Keith, a love story, this week, and i really loved the story, i hope you will be able to watch the movie. the reason why i thought of watching it is because of Jesse McCartney acting in it. but the lesson in there is not in Jesse McCartney, it is in the sole storyline. and yeah, it made me cry, i just realized that i was not able to do what i desired to do together with Cristy when she was still here in Cebu. the story just inspired me to do crazy things even more, the sky's the limit

i'll be adding some new quotes from that movie in my categories>>Quotes corner

12:37 AM Zamboanga, Philippines Time

*take your sweet time

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picture is form: http://diehappy-x.deviantart.com/art/Smile-39076839

Okay, so i hurt a friend. i admit it, it's all my fault.

it happened like this: Anus is my friend, and i stumbled upon this stolen shot (i think) of her and then i decided to make fun of her. i placed this picture of a vinegar since she depcited a sour face in that picture. anyway, i spread it over the net. so she got mad.

on her post "A Classmate Hurt me..." Posted on Sept 28, 8:19PM she said that she was sad on what i did. i agree, i dont have any right to make fun of her, no one does. if it was for me, then i'd be surely getting mad. but its different in her case. she REALLY got mad, and then she decided not to talk to me. well, who cares? I DO!

so i commented on her blog, and i asked for her forgiveness to my act, i promised that that'll never happen again, and i added a little humor to get the tension away. im the kind of guy who tries to balance these tensioned events and nullify it so that it'll somewhow become manageable. but then she misinterpreted my hidden innuendo (maybe she wasn't able to think it that way, sorry for her). anyway, all i did was to say sorry, and honestly, it was my first time in a long time to say sorry from deep within my heart, sincerely, and as honest as i can be.

then a while ago, she made another post, said that i cannot take life seriously. well, i think she based it from my reply to her last post. like what i have said, she misinterpreted my innuendo. well, it's up to her to take my sorry or give it back to me. i said what i wanted to say.

i think what's happening to me right now is God's way of saying: "Greggi, it's your time to face one of your biggest fears." well, i admit it, i have this fear of accepting a defeat between me and my self. anyway, whatever happens, i know i still got God, my guardian angel, and my friends... and i still include her in my list of friends, because this trial doesnt mean that our friendship will end, its a matter of closing our friendship with a vague wall. it's there, only not yet THERE.

...and i always pray for my friends' safety, always...

+++PLUS! she told me she never wanted to talk to me, i remember that [i hope she does too]; well, i give her her plea, i won't talk to her. but until the time comes when she is ready to talk to me again, then i'll be glad to formally say sorry to her. i guess it's a matter of taking our sweet time thinking about our situation right now.

I can wait.

7:21 PM Zamboanga, Philippines Time

*take your sweet time

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her first post:

http://analurve.multiply.com/journal/item/10/a_classmate_hurt_me..?replies_read=1

her second post:

http://analurve.multiply.com/journal/item/11/why_some_people_cant_take_life_seriously..

it has been a while since i added a new post. life has been giving me too much blessings that everything should be fast-paced. but these blessings are here now, why would i let them pass?

so the past few days have been a little bit tight. i got to go to my SACSI family for just about 1 hour this week, then every other things i wanted to do just couldn't push through... just  because of life's demands. hah, at first i thought, why am i like this, why do i lack time? am i really old that i walk 10m/seconds? [yeah right, the m stands for miles =))

so i realized that this is a part of life; being busy; being somewhere where you need to be even though you wanted to be in some place else. it is like being one colour of the rainbow, you just need to be where you are, or else if you decided to go where you wanted to go, the rainbow will not be a rainbow anymore

so like in what's happening to me right now, i can say that life is still being fair. This time, not because i need to say that it's fair, but i wanted to say that it's fair. and it is. life will start to get fair only if one accept's it's realities as fair, and move on WITH that reality. I moved on with many realities, at this very young age, i can say that i take life as what it is, yet i never lose, because i think it is fair.

now as i said to my friend here in tabulas, my next post will be about 'at leasts'. then i will relate these at leasts to what i think might happen in the future.

At least is a two word optimists [i always use this, honestly] usually use. and these two words usually saves lives. How? these two words has its own magic withing their linkage. imagine having a very stressful situation and someone just went near you and said, "At least...". this 'at least' is a very basic yet effective way to comfort a friend. one needs not to master it, because i believe no one needs to, it just comes out of one's good and pure heart to make people happy, to give them their rebirth.

at least i begin to accept my responsibilities in life with open arms, and at least i grow from this busy days. at least i had time now to actually type this post. at least i was able to make a birthday gift for my no.1 fan. at least i was able to make people happy, at least...

at the very least, i still know that i love a girl without anything in return... yet i still grow to become a better person. at least.

9:30 PM Zamboanga, Philippines Time

*take your sweet time

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I also added a new content page, hope you like it

that's me in the picture, i photoshopped it adding a tattoo to my face. yeah, I really look like my twin brother in that picture...